Twenty-six rad parties

“Every time I looked over…”

This morning I woke up remembering an hilarious incident from Outside Lands festival in SF last year. I was there with my boys Starfucker. Our extended gang for the day included a number of Polyvinyl’s bay area based folks, including the delightful Seth Hubbard and his equally delightful lady wife, Rachel. ANYWAYS. At the end of the day, we all reconvened behind our stage, where we had left the van parked all day cos we’re punk like that. Some of us were a lil drunk, Girl Talk was playing, which led to this quote from Seth, on Rachel- “I knew it was time to get out of there when every time I looked over she was humping”. 

This same tour also featured the Keil-Patrick chip/coke fight, which is one of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen the aftermath of.

STOP ASKING ABOUT MY ACCENT

I just had an epiphany about why I dislike being asked about my accent by people I’ve just met- it’s because the reasons I have a halfsies accent is much, much more personal information than I really want to share with most people I’ve just met. Then I’m in this weird bind where I’d be being rude to say that I don’t want to talk about it, but also annoyed at the asker because they’ve asked it. Not a good way to start out with people. Also I just hate answering that question cos I answer it a million and one times every fucking week.

COOL STORY BRO

NQLD weirdotimes

So I’m in North Queensland hanging out with mum this week, and today, in our travels, we encountered some really, really weird stuff, so, logically, I felt compelled to put it on the internet!

First up- this excellent looking silver Yes record. This isn’t that weird, it just looked cool. Also present in this place- like seven different Journey records. WHY DIDN’T I BUY THEM ALL OMG

Next is one of the strangest things I’ve seen in a minute. THE TEDDY BEAR ROOM

This is in the middle of this Anglican opshop in Proserpine. A closer view- 

WELCOME TO THE BEAR CAVE

Next up, and just around the corner, we encountered Snow White and her Seven Dwarves.

“But Anna,” I hear you say, “I can only count SIX dwarves in this picture! Where’s the SEVENTH? The story very specifically mentions SEVEN dwarves!!!11!1!!!!!”

Well, my friend, the seventh of their number needs to lay off the sauce or whatever, because he fell over.

Either that or he wanted to get a closer look at dem plastic tittays.

Moving right along, to Bunnings, where my mother and I were shopping for some hardware supplies and happened to walk past the toilet seat section…

Jellybeans. Why? Is it cos poops can sometimes look kind of like jellybeans? Or to remind you that even the most delicious and beautiful things that enter your body via the mouth, like jellybeans, will eventually become poop? Mum said, “Do you think they’re REAL jellybeans?!”

I don’t know, mum, I just don’t know. 

But this bad boy is the real pièce de résistance. 

The downfall of western civilisation is clearly imminent if people are running about legitimately paying $147 for this kind of shit. See what I did there? Multilayered poop joke. I’m like Stephen Hawking.

Bonus! Here’s a couple pictures of an awesome cat I saw in Abbotsford the other day.

I’ll let you all know if I see any other completely bizarre shit.

xo Gossip Girl.

This Week

Some little tidbits from this week.

1. On the 109 tram, a woman, clearly distressed, sweating, sobbing, shouting something about her family stealing from her, is also concurrently attempting to eat an iceblock, which is red, blue, and melting. The 109 is, FYI, very much airconditioned.

2. With C.W. at TOFWD, we see a man out the window with a Mystery Instrument. C. says “I don’t think HE really knows what it is”, and I suggest it’s an electric harmonica. Mr. Harmonicist finishes one song, and then spends five seconds clearly, hilariously, in a pure agony of indecision as to what to do with this electric harmonica next.